Paper

a short story

It was a sunny Sunday in the middle of May. Anna and Rick met at a café in the city center to spend the morning together.

They’d been dating for half a year already. When they first met, Anna had said she was a playwright. Rick asked her to invite him to one of her shows, but Anna said there weren’t any shows based on her plays since she hadn’t finished any of them. And in fact, she’d been having writer’s block for a while.

Anna was obviously in a philosophical mood that morning. She was looking at the nothingness in front of her while speaking:

“If you want to know what I see when looking at a blank page, I’ll tell you. I see a lot of excuses of different sizes. And the biggest one is that right now, at this very moment, I am not being myself. Frankly speaking, I’ve never been myself. There is always something distracting me from that. Primary school, secondary school, university, being an exchange student, being an employee, being a drama queen, being a victim, being too snobbish, being too shy, being sick, being tired. Not Being. But one day there will be me, I say. The Me, who deserves to fill a blank page with little black letters. I don’t think that day will happen tomorrow, but when it comes, and when I find that person, that Me, I will make sure she has enough paper to fill.”

Anna seemed very sad and inspired by her own words at the same time.

Rick listened to her very attentively. He even turned back a couple of times to find what Anna was looking at, but didn’t see anything specific.

“Do you need some paper now?” Rick asked when Anna stopped talking.

“What?”

“I was just wondering if you need paper — I can give it to you now. I have two boxes of it, not using it anyway. Just let me know.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yes, I did. But you mentioned paper, and it reminded me that I have a bunch, which I wanted to get rid of anyway… Come on, where are you going?”

“Bye, Rick. I just need a moment alone.” Anna pushed aside a cup of cold coffee with an abrupt movement and quickly left the café.

Rick sighed and decided to call his friend Mike.

“Hi, Rick, what’s up?” Mike sounded like he’d just woken up.

“Hi, Mike. I think Anna got really upset with me because I offered her some paper. I don’t know what to do, man.”

“What paper? What are you talking about?”

“Paper, Mike. She’s a writer, and she was complaining about not having enough paper, so I offered her some, because I have a bunch. And now I feel so stupid.”

“Listen, man, I think you should break up with her. I mean, who would refuse such an offer? She must be crazy,” Mike said.

“Bye, Mike. You are officially the most useless friend.” Rick hung up and finished his coffee.

Rick spent the rest of the day wandering around the city. He went to the park and watched kids riding bicycles and playing games. At some point, a boy ran up to his bench and hid behind it, giving Rick a signal not to give him away. A few seconds later, three other boys galloped up to the bench. They were very committed to finding their friend and giving him a beating, so they didn’t even notice Rick. The boys jumped on the bench and started a fuss. Rick felt very uncomfortable being surrounded by combative teens, so he decided to leave the bench at their disposal.

He went to the pond and watched the ducks. It was their bathing time. One of the ducks swam to the shore and raised one of its eyes to Rick.

“Hello, buddy, you look familiar. Have we met?” Rick asked. The duck shook its tail and rowed away.

In the line for donuts, Rick ran into his old friend Roy.

“I don’t know, man, maybe people don’t need paper anymore, even if they are writers,” said Roy.

Rick came home in the evening. He heard some noises coming from the living room.

“Anna? Is that you?”

Without waiting for a reply, he went to the living room and saw Anna. She was hastily putting something in her bag.

“What’s going on?” asked Rick.

“Nothing, I just came to pick up my stuff.”

“What stuff? Where are you going?”

“Look, Rick. I think we want different things. I really need to focus on fighting my writer’s block. And you… you just don’t get me.”

“Anna, I’m so sorry. Now I know it was really stupid to offer you the paper. Would it help if I took my words back?”

“No, Rick. It wouldn’t help.”

“Okay, I get it. I just thought maybe you were tired of fighting with virtual blank pages and wanted to see your enemies in real life.” Rick wasn’t sure what he was talking about anymore. Anna looked at him tiredly, put the key from his apartment on the cabinet next to the entrance door, and left.

Rick spent the rest of the evening googling how to make origami.